All of us have at least one friend or acquaintance who is the living embodiment of a paranoid planner. These are the people who plan every little detail of any trip that they are going to make, up to and including going to the market for groceries. If they are travelling across country or internationally, they will spend weeks and even months mapping out every route, detailing daily schedules and activities, and even creating different scenarios and contingency plans in case something should go wrong. Then Heathrow airport parking came along.
Missing the Obvious
The rest of us try not to be annoyed by our complicated little friends because in the long run, we have to face the reality that their complex graphs, charts, and schedules help us when we travel. Unfortunately, it is hard not to laugh when they finally do come upon a situation for which they could not plan. Even to us, it is hard to believe that our friend, who spent so much time and effort coming up with every possible alternative outcome for every single situation, could miss something so obvious.
Underestimating Your Opponent
With a schedule and planner book made by our friend that was so thick it would make an encyclopaedia jealous, we set out on our journey confident that, like every other trip he had planned out, everything would go perfectly. We got as far as the airport before it all went to seed. Who could have forecast that we would have so much trouble finding a secure parking space?
Poking the Hornets’ Nest with a Stick
As my poor friend stood at the window of the terminal watching the last plane of the night to our destination taxi down the runway and then take off without us, I moved as far away from him as I could. I did not want to be too close when his fuzzy little head exploded. From that safe distance, I asked why he did not call ahead and reserve our spot. I told him that we could have used the route planner to ensure that our parking for the entire trip would be secured and that we could even pay for the space from our cell phone.
Loose Lips Sink Ships
His face grew redder as the words slipped from my lips. When I got to the part about our car being completely safe in a secured, videotaped parking area with personnel on duty, he started to twitch. I believe, however, that the last straw came when I told him that we could have gotten a ride right to the gate and parking company representative would pick us up at our destination and drop us at the car rental door.
Take Your Meds and Chillax
As I watched them clean the grey matter from the terminal window, I reflected back on those unfortunate truths and wondered if I should have kept to myself how easy Heathrow airport parking is when you use book online. I will miss my nerdy little friend but I least I can visit him on the weekends, if they ever let him out of the padded room without his straight jacket.
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